For 3 years, you were my everything. I would've killed a man if it meant your happiness. My love for you was real and never trivial. There were times I thought things would never be the way they could be, but I kept telling myself that if I put everything on the line, it would pay off in the end. And for nearly 3 years, it did. I was in love with the most wonderful woman in the world and nothing could've swayed me into another direction. I had put the past behind me and completely focused on the present. But I feel in the end, that was my problem. because while I was focusing on the present, I was ignoring the future. Even though I knew details of the future, I never focused on them. I guess I'm just a day-to-day kind of guy. It doesn't mean I'm not thinking for the future or that I don't have plans for the future; because I did. I once had a dream that I was married to the woman of my dreams (YOU). We had a nice house in a medium sized city. We had a cat, dog, and a fish tank. Kids weren't really in our future. It wasn't that we didn't like kids, we just felt we would be better without. You were working in a zoo developing ways for more animals to be safe but in a zoo and I owned a bar and did stand-up on the side. We were happy. That was the best part. Happiness.
You were the one thing in my life that never let me down. I knew that your love for me was real and not just a fun ride til somebody better came along. I believed you when you said you wanted to spend your life with me. I meant it too. I knew I would marry you. I just picked a date too far into the future. You may still think I just told you I wanted to marry you to get you off my back, but I truly was going to marry you. (If I have it my way...I still will)
Remember the stuff we talked about? Having a guitar player play you down the aisle. We talked about wedding stuff a lot. I don't think you ever really took me seriously though. But I always intended for it to go down the way we wanted. And again, it didn't scare me.
I wasn't the man you wanted me to be and I know that. But I could've been. The most important thing was, I loved you. With all my heart.
You seem to be moving on. I can't. The thought of being with anybody else just doesn't make sense. When I go to bed at night, I look over and see nothing. But all I wanna see is your smiling face. I keep telling myself that if I'm patient and don't lose hope, you'll be there again. I still haven't lost that hope. But the want for you to come back will always be there. I'll never not love you. You made me the best person I could ever be and for that I will forever be greatful. And if our paths never cross again, I will always cherish the time we spent together.
I love you with all my heart and always will.